In memory of the men of the Albert Works who fell in the War

The Albert Steam Joinery, run by local firm Elliotts, had sent many of its workers to the war.

A well-attended service was held on May 24th, in memory of the men of the Albert Works who fell in the War, and when the new carved Litany Desk is presented by the Works was dedicated. It is a very handsome piece of work. Mrs Clifford Phillips sang “I know that my Redeemer liveth”, and “The Last Post” and the “Reveille” were sounded by two Buglers from Reading. The choir was present, and Mr Liddle played several appropriate pieces on the organ. We were glad to see a number of the employees of the Works present.

Newbury parish magazine, July 1919 (D/P89/28A/14)

Advertisements

All will gather together for the singing of ‘Land of our Birth’

22/05/19

Lessons bearing on the Empire will be given today in connection with the celebration of Empire Day. At the close of school all will gather together for the singing of ‘Land of our Birth’ and the national anthem. As arranged by the education committee tomorrow afternoon will be a holiday.

Log book of Joseph Henry Wilson School, Newbury (N/ES7/1)

RIP

Another Newbury man was reported dead retrospectively.

ROLL OF HONOUR
102. Driver Rupert Ferris, 1st Tanks Co., died of wounds, Maricana, France, March 24th, 1918. RIP.

Newbury parish magazine, May 1919 (D/P89/28A/14)

Gratitude for deliverance

The Earley war memorial was on its way.

The War Memorial

The committee met on Friday 17 May.

Present: The Vicar in the chair, Mr. Churchwarden Brown, Messrs H Masters, A H Salman, G C Sturgess, T R Stevens, E Clayton Jones, H Mole, F B East, H knapman, F C Edwards, H A Box, A J H Wright, Mrs Newbury, Miss Driscoll, Miss G Fanstone, Miss Goose, Miss Type, Miss H L Stevens, Miss D Lawrence.

The architect’s design and drawings were on view and the builder’s specification and estimate were read. It was resolved unanimously that the work be carried out as soon as possible.

The Committee decided to keep the subscription list open, and to issue a subscription list with names of contributors on the completion of the work; also, that a monthly statement of sums raised should be published in the Magazine during the summer.

The Committee was of the opinion that only the names of parishioners who had laid down their lives should be inscribed on the panels, but they reserved their final decision upon this point.

The chairman urged that all contributions should be given in a spirit of thanksgiving and that this was not an occasion for an ordinary appeal for subscriptions. He thought many persons giving in such spirit would prefer to give (in whole or part) anonymously, but whether this was so or not, he hoped a sense of gratitude for deliverance would govern all gifts made.

The committee adjourned to Friday June 13.

Earley St Bartholomew parish magazine, June 1919 (D/P192/28A/15)

“The case was not one in which the distress was due to the war”

The Berkshire branch of the National Relief Fund was still accepting applications for assistance from people whose lives had been disrupted by the war.

17 May 1919

The Chairman read the following report on cases dealt with since the last meeting [on 24 June 1918].

Mrs Coleman

Mrs Coleman was interviewed by the Chairman and Mr Bate as requested by the Committee at their last meeting and it was ultimately decided that Mrs Coleman should take a course of Business Training with Mr Taylor, Station Road, Reading. A sum of £30 was paid to Mrs Coleman in September, to cover the cost of the preliminary training and maintenance during such time, and in October a further sum of £37 was paid over. In January 1919, Mrs Coleman asked that a further £20 might be remitted to her and this was agreed to and paid over by the Government Committee. Mrs Coleman has now completed the training and is finding some difficulty in securing a situation, and on the 26th April asked for a further sum of £30 out of the balance of £163 now remaining. This application has been forwarded to the Government Committee before sanctioning any further payment of the grant.

Mrs Willis

In accordance with the instructions of the Committee at the last meeting, the case of Mrs Willis was referred to the Government Committee with a suggestion that a grant of a capital sum might be made in place of the monthly payment. The Government Committee were of opinion that the monthly grants should continue and Mrs Willis has continued to receive £2.2.0 per month. Whilst this grant continues it is doubtful if Mrs Willis will make any effort to render herself self-supporting.

Mrs Keefe

An application for assistance was received in January, 1919, from Mrs Keefe, 44 London Road, Newbury. Particulars were obtained and it appeared that the applicant was a widow who had had a small General Shop, but owing to heart trouble and difficulties due to the various rationing orders (mainly the former), she had given up the shop and taken lodgers. Subsequently the heart trouble increased and in consequence she was unable to work. These particulars were forwarded to the Government Committee who were of opinion that the case was not one in which the distress was due to the war and therefore not one which could properly be dealt with by this Committee.

Mr E E Bishton

Mr E E Bishton, Florence Cottage, New Road, Ascot, on the recommendation of the Repatriated British Civilian Help Committee, applied to this Committee for a grant towards the purchase of necessary clothing, which he required before he could commence work. Mr Bishton was interviewed by the Chairman and the Secretary, who authorised the supply of clothing to the value of £10.10.6, and also a temporary grant of £4.

In the case of Mrs Coleman it was resolved:

To recommend to the Government Committee that an immediate payment of £30 be made as asked for and that the balance of £133 with interest be retained for the present.

On the suggestion of Mr Slade it was agreed that the allowance to Mrs Willis should be continued for a further period of 3 months to give her the opportunity of finding suitable work.

If at the end of this period it was found that she would require a certain capital sum to enable her to set up in business, the Committee would consider the advisability of recommending the case to the Government Committee for a capital grant.

The action of the Chairman in the case of Mr Bishton was confirmed.

National Relief Fund: Berkshire Committee minutes (C/CL/C6/4/1)

Reorganising the Band after the Crisis of the War

Newbury United Temperance Band was one of many organisations to close down during the war. The meeting on the 29th was inconclusiv, and the band was never re-formed.

1919

A Trustee meeting of the Band was held in the Lwecture Hall on Thursday evening the 15th May at 8 pm….

The meeting was called with a view of reorganising the Band after the Crisis of the War, which had necessitated the breaking up of it for that period. After a good deal of consultation it was … carried that the Band be reformed & that all previous members & musicians who are Total Abstainers be invited to meet the trustees on Thursday evening, May 29th, at 7 pm on the Lecture Hall. This to be done by letter to all previous members & by advertisement in the Newbury Weekly News.

The secretary was instructed to write to Mrs E L Michell a letter of sympathy for her bereavement.

Newbury United Temperance Band Committee minutes (N/D58/1/2)

There is a new spirit amongst our young people

An elderly nonconformist clergyman had hope for the post war world and the new generation.

The Gates of Youth, By Rev. Monro Gibson, M.A., LL.D.

I am now about as far away from the gates of Youth as any one in this world can well be, but the remarkable thing is that the father I go from them, the increasing distance, instead of making them look smaller, makes them seem larger and ever larger – so much so that in my old age I confess to a great and increasing longing to help my young friends to see what a glorious, magnificent life which is opening before them.

The adventure of life begins with the dawn of personal responsibility. In childhood we are in a garden, a Garden of Eden, let us say, sheltered, secluded, happy in its limitations; but sooner or later the gates of Eden open outwards, and the world is all before us with its continents and islands, its seas and oceans, its illimitable possibilities; its fearful risks on the one hand, its great reaches on the other.

Difference between Men and Animals

Herein lies the immense difference between the life of man and that of lower animals. They have each their limits imposed on them by nature. In every case there is growth along certain fixed lines, and up to certain fixed limits; but in no case is there any possibility of a development at all corresponding to that of the boy into a Shakespeare or a Newton, or the girl into a Florence Nightingale or a Catherine Booth; and that altogether irrespective of the infinities and eternities which lie beyond. On the other hand, there is no peril corresponding to that which may transform a noble youth into a Judas or a Kaiser or a sot.

These things being so, there is call for the most earnest thought in passing through these fateful Gates. It will not do simply to yield to the impulse of the moment as if it did not matter much how you set out or what you were aiming at. I do think, however, that there are some warnings which, though very much needed four years ago, are not called for now. For there is a new spirit amongst our young people. There has been a high summons to whole-souled devotion to a great cause, and to that summons there has been a noble response, so that I believe there are very few young men or young women either, who would be willing now to welcome a life of self-indulgence or pleasure-seeking or easy-going mediocracy; and those who would still prefer that kind of thing are too far down to be likely to be reached by any high appeal. The great majority now, I am sure, demand the strenuous life, the life of active service with something in it of adventure or peril, calling for courage, resourcefulness, sacrifice if need be. The cricket pitch and the golf course, the dance and the supper party may still find a corner in life but only a corner. Surely the feeling now is practically universal that to put one’s life into any such things as these is despicable in the last degree. How encouraging it is to find that when there is a call for volunteers to an enterprise which means almost certain death, like the attack ion Zeebrugge or the final Voyage of The Vindictive, every one is not only ready but is disappointed if he cannot be accepted.

A New World

You may say: It is the War that has done this, and we are all very glad that it has come to an end. Yes: but is there any reason why the spirit the War has called forth should come to an end with it? By no means. We are constantly reminded that it is a new world we are entering into, with greater opportunities, nobler prospects and more difficult problems that we have ever known; and there will be a new call for the exercise of all the noblest faculties the War has evoked, and for many others for which even its multiplied demands have not afforded scope and opportunity. Surely it is not without significance that a man who represents so large and in many respects so unpromising a constituency as H. G. Wells has done should even passionately urge the claims of the Kingdom of God upon the service of us all, and especially of our young people who will be the chief agents in the new developments before us. We have all along had before s the call to “seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness,” to make that the great ambition of our lives; but so far it has kindled the souls of only a very small minority. May it not now “catch on,” to use the common phrase, and gather itself the patriotism, the enthusiasm, the devotion, courage and self-sacrifice of the generation now coming on the scene.

Moreover, we are now apparently entering on a new era of democracy whose success will depend not on a small number of super-men or heroes of the Nietschean or Carlylean type to subdue the masses to their will; but on the people, each with his share of responsibility, every one with his full share of opportunity, with education that will open up fields of service to every variety of talent, and with institutions that will give full scope for its exercise. Even as things have been in the world, our young people have had much encouragement to put forth every effort in the beginning of life to train their powers for usefulness; but it is more worth while now than ever it was before. In the old Book of Proverbs it is written, “A man’s gift maketh room for him.” True now in a fuller sense than when the wise man wrote it down, it will still be more so in the days that are coming. Therefore I would congratulate our young people especially on the prospect before them, entering on life in times like these which are more full of portent and of promise than even those of which the poet Wordsworth wrote:

“Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive,
But to be young was very heaven.”

It is indeed true as it always was, that “strait is the gate, and narrow is the way that leadeth unto life”; but now that there is this new spirit in the land for enduring hardness, for concentration of energy, for ventures of faith and courage, and now that the life which is set before us, which and full as it has always been, promises to be richer and fuller than ever, we may hope that it will no longer be true that “few there be that find it,” but that multitudes of our young people, young men and young women, will press through the gates into the new life.

Newbury and Thatcham Congregational Magazine, May 1919 (D/N32/12/1/1/1)

Victory Loan Procession

11 July

A number of scholars were absent yesterday [10 July] having gone to Newbury to see the Victory Loan Procession.

Hampstead Norreys CE School (C/EL40/2)

Today the Peace Terms are to be handed to the Germans

It was an important day.

7th May 1919

Reminded boys that today the Peace Terms are to be handed to the Germans and that it is also the fourth anniversary of the sinking of The Lusitania with 1,198 souls.

Newbury St Nicolas CE (Boys) School log book (90/SCH/5/3, p. 51)

Special classes for soldiers

Students were getting back to normal on leaving the army.

MAIDENHEAD TECHNICAL INSTITUTE

The Sub-committee understand that the Technical Institute will probably be evacuated by the Red Cross Hospital authorities shortly…

EVENING CLASSES

In a circular letter, the Board of Education urge the importance of the resumption of the part of this work which was curtailed owing to the war and of its further development at the earliest possible date.

The Sub-committee have not found it possible to resuscitate any of the closed classes this session but have made provision in the estimates for increasing the number of classes next session.

ARMY EDUCATION

In connexion with the scheme for Army Education, the Sub-committee have been asked to arrange special classes for soldiers at Windsor and these have been duly held. The whole of the cost is payable by the War Office.

COUNTY SCHOLARSHIPS

The Sub-committee have allowed B L James (3rd year Senior Scholar), who was released from the Army in January to resume his Senior Scholarship at the Newbury Grammar School for the remainder of its period.

M G Hyder, who was granted a Supplementary County Scholarship in 1916, has been released from the Army, and took up his Scholarship at Keble College, Oxford, as from the commencement of the Lent Term.

The Sub-committee have renewed the Scholarship of E H Austin (who has also been released from the Army) at the University College, Reading, until the end of the Summer Term.

Report of Higher Education Sub-committee to Berkshire Education Committee, 3 May 1919, in Berkshire County Council minutes (C/CL/C1/1/22)

Hope springs eternal

This poem may have been inspired by having lived under the shadow of war for years.

“Hope Springs Eternal.”

YOUTH looks upon the world and sees it fair;
Exultant in his strength, he fears for nought;
The years behind seem as a mounted stair,
The years before are rosate in his thought.

He dreams of fame, success, the world’s applause,
Of love, maybe, and deeds of high romance,
Obedient ever to his nature’s laws
Bidding him hope, nor doubt of what may chance.

When age is drawing on, he muses o’er
The retrospect of shattered hopes, and sees
How barren proved his dream’s enchanted shore,
The strand whereto he voyaged through troubled seas;

Dark and uncertain looks the future: yet
He needs must hope until his sun be set.

T.G.W.

The Newburian (magazine of St Bartholomew’s School, Newbury), April 1919 (N/D161/1/9)

The response to the appeal for subscriptions has been, on the whole, deplorably bad

Would St Bartholomew’s School memorial be able to go ahead?

THE WAR MEMORIAL.

Committee.
E.W. Mansfield, Chairman of the Govenors.
C.A. Hawker, Mayor.
F.W. Thoyts, Chairman of the School Committee.
H.F.E. Peake, Chairman of the Finance Committee.

Governors of the School.
A.E. Allnatt, formerly Cricket Captain.
E. Bradfield, formerly Senior Prefect.
I.K. Fraser, formerly Senior Prefect and Editor of “The Newburian”.
A.J. Coles, formerly Senior Prefect, “Editor of The Newburian,” Captain of Football XV.

Old Boys.
B.C.L. James, Senior Prefect.
E. Sharwood-Smith, Head Master.
C. St. A. Lee, Second Master, Hon. Sec. and Treasurer of Committee.

All communications should be addressed to Mr. Lee.

THIRD LIST OF SUBSCRIBERS.

In publishing the third list of subscribers to the War Memorial Fund, we would point out that the response to the appeal for subscriptions has been, on the whole, deplorably bad. It is to be hoped that the many Old Boys and others connected with the school who have not already sent in their donations will make an immediate response to this most important appeal.

£ s d

Pte. A.E.J. Chislett 10 0 0
H. Chislett, Esq. 5 0 0
E.B. Milnes, Esq. 5 0 0
P. Williams, Esq. 5 0 0
J. Rankin, Esq. 3 3 0
Lt. W.B. Collins 2 0 0
Mrs. Shaw 2 0 0
K.P.Leng, Esq. 2 0 0
Corpl.H.S. Hobbs }
Sgt. P.R. Hobbs} 1 0 0
Capt. J. Allee 1 1 0
J.F. Cannan, Esq. 1 0 0
T. Bradfield, Esq. 1 1 0
Lt. W.H. Glover 1 1 0
Miss Brough 1 10 0
Miss Gibson 1 0 0
P. Simmons, Esq. 1 1 0
Miss Farmer 10 6
J. Parr, Esq. 10 0
J.B. Webb, Esq. 10 6
W.C. Franks 10 6
B.C.L. James 10 6
Mrs. Huxham 10 0
Mrs. Staples 10 0
Mrs. Hale 10 0
J.W.Knight, Esq. 5 0

ROLL OF THE FALLEN

ALLEN, Pte. W.H., Grenadier Guards.
BANCE, Lieut., R.A., 5th Royal Berkshire Regiment.
BUCKINGHAM, Lieut., P.E., R.A.F.
BURGESS, Lieut., N.G., Croix de Guerre, R.N.V.
CANNON, H.S., Motor Despatch Rider.
CHISLETT, Trooper, H.J.W., 1/1st Berkshire Yeomanry.
COWELL-TOWNSHEND, Lieut., R., R.A.F.
COX, Pte., C.W., Royal Berkshire Regiment.
CURNOCK, Lieut., C.A., 10th East Surrey Regiment.
DAVIES, Corpl., P.E., 10th East Surrey Regiment.
DAVIS, A.H., London Artists Corps.
EDWARDS, 2nd Lieut., F.A.L., M.C., Royal Berkshire Regiment.
EVERS, Capt., B.S., 9th West Yorkshire Regiment.
GRIFFIN, 2nd Lieut., H.S., 2/24th Royal Berkshire Regiment.
HALLEN, Corpl., J.V., 1st Surrey Rifles.
HARRIS, L.A., Royal Warwick Regiment.
HERBERT, Pte. G.W., Royal Welsh Fusiliers.
JONES, Rfn., S.W., 2nd Rifle Brigade .
MATHEWS, Trooper, S.W., 2nd Rifle Brigade.
MORTIMER, Pte. F.C., 4th North Staffordshire Regiment.
MYDDELTON, 2nd Lieut., E.G., Suffolk Regiment.
NASH, Pte. J.O., Royal Engineers.
PATTERSON, Capt., R.A., 1st Battalion Rifle Brigade.
PAYZE, A.R., 50th Canadian Gordon Highlanders.
PEARSON, Pte. K.H., Artists’ Rifles.
PLENTY, Major, E.M., R.A.F.
QUARTERMAN, 2nd Lieut., P.H., 2/24th East Lancashire Regiment.
RAVENOR, Lieut., G.P., Royal Berkshire Regiment.
RAVENOR, Corpl., H., Australian Contingent.
ROBINSON, 2nd Lieut., A.H., 1st Manchester Regiment.
SOLWAY, Pte. D.G., Oxon and Bucks Light Infantry attached Royal Berkshire Regiment.
SAVAGE, 2nd Air Mechanic, E.G., Royal Flying Corps.
SHARP, Lieut., F.H., Royal Berkshire Regiment.
SHIPLEY, Trooper, A.J., Berkshire Yeomanry.
SHUTLER, Pte. R., Berkshire Yeomanry.
SOMERSET, Lieut., F.H., South African Infantry.
STEVENS, Pte. E.J., M.M., Royal Army Medical Corps.
SWINLEY, Lieut., G.N.B., 3rd Battalion K.O.S.B.
WARREN, Sergt.-Major, C.M.
WILDE, Lieut., E.J., Leicester Regiment.
WYLLIE, Corpl., A., Berkshire Yeomanry, attached Worcester Regiment.

The Newburian (magazine of St Bartholomew’s School, Newbury), April 1919 (N/D161/1/9)

“He had survived all the dangers of War, only to fall a victim to influenza”

Some survived the war, only to die from the dreadful influenza epidemic.

In Memoriam.

E. Bradfield.

When Bradfield left the N.G.S. in 1909, he had been Senior Prefect for three terms. He was the mainstay of the Debating Society, and for a long time, acted as Sporting Editor of the “Newburian.” A prominent member of the Cricket XI, he was second in the batting averages for 1909. He was also one of the foremost actors in the School in his time here he took up a journalistic career and became the Editor of “Milling,” a Liverpool organ of the Corn trade. The influenza epidemic claimed him among its victims.

E. M. Plenty

Plenty left the N.G.S. while still fairly young and proceeded to St. Paul’s School, where he greatly distinguished himself. He joined the Air Force and had a brilliant career, attaining the rank of Major. The news of his death was the-more sad for the fact that it comes with that of Armistice: he had survived all the dangers of War, only to fall a victim to the plague which carried off Warren and Bradfield.

The Newburian (magazine of St Bartholomew’s School, Newbury), April 1919 (N/D161/1/9)

Especial commendation

Speenhamland children were apparently especially interested in the Navy.

Ap 16

The Mayor, accompanied by Mr E J Forster, came at 3.15 and a very pleasing little function took place. The Prize-winners were five in number in order as follows:

Boys: 1 George Bourne aged 11, 2 Fred Bogg aged 13
Girls: 1 Evelyn Herbert aged 13, 2 Rose Watling aged 12, 3 Hilda Curtis aged 10.

The Mayor mentioned that this was the only school in the Borough that had gained 5 prizes, and George Bourne was singled out for especial commendation.

St Mary’s CE School, Speenhamland (C/EL119/3)

War was always unspeakably dreadful

A pupil at St Barthomolomew’s School imagined a future where war was unknown. It may be a creative writing exercise, but it shows the effect the war had on young people’s views of the world.

WAR.

Scene ——————– A room in a house
Time ——————— 2000 A.D.
Dramatis Personae — One sister, one small brother.

Small brother. Sissy, what does war mean? I read it in a book, something about the termination of war or something.

Sister. War, dear child, is the settlement of national quarrels by fighting.

When two or more nations had a quarrel, they used to fight each other till so many people on one side got killed or driven back, that they had to give in.

Sometimes nations just made war for greed because they thought they were stronger than their opponents, indeed this was nearly always the case.

Small brother. Please, what’s reponents?

Sister. Opponents, I said, it means enemies.

Small brother. O yes, I understand enemies; please sissy, why didn’t you say enemies if you meant enemies?

Sister. When you’re a little older, you’ll understand perhaps, but don’t fidget or I shall have to send you upstairs.

Small brother. Go on about war, sissy.

Sister. In the beginning war wasn’t quite so bad, although morally, of course, it was always unspeakably dreadful.

People used to fight hand to hand, and kill each other from quite near, with spears, long steel spikes and other weapons, then later, they shot with bows and arrows, you’ve heard of bows and arrows.

Well, everybody regarded it as a sort of game, with definite rules, particularly we English, who were always slow and stupid.

Small brother. Sissy!!

Sister.
Now don’t interrupt.

Well, people liked fighting very much really, or at any rate some did, they used to put on expensive armour and ride about on beautiful horses, and when there wasn’t a war, they went about saving fair maidens out of enchanted castles, and it was all very nice.

Everything went well, because all the countries used the same weapons, and fought in the same way, but gradually men began to invent more deadly weapons, and some of the countries invented the before their enemies knew anything about it, so of course they said it wasn’t fair and were very cross, and lots of them got killed.

Guns were invented, and other dreadful things, and people fought from a long way off. Nearly everybody fought, and they still had rules like in a game.

Things got worse and worse till the last war, that was about 1914, and then thousands of people got killed, and it was all like a very bad nightmare, men, women and children got killed and aeroplanes dropped bombs about in the town and no one was safe anywhere. After everybody had spent most of their money on the war and lost most of their sons, and had some of their houses knocked down, they got very tired of it, but it had to be finished, because a very wicked country called Germany was threatening the peace of the whole world, not that the whole world really wanted peace, mind you, because they didn’t, but they liked to think they did, and anyhow, they hated the Germans very much, and not without cause.

However, the people who were running the war for England began to see that it wasn’t a game any longer, because they didn’t get enough to each and their sons being killed; so when Germany invented clever things to kill people quicker, which weren’t allowed by the rules, they invented cleverer ones back and said nothing about it, and in the papers the people read all about the wicked things Germany was doing and thought Germany dishonourable for disobeying the rules, and some people say that the English people who were working the war for the English broke the rules first, but this isn’t certain, and anyway, the Germans were a greedy and unscrupulous people, much worse than us, though we were far from perfect, and they were beaten.

And people began to sit down and think a bit, which wasn’t often done in those days, and they came to the conclusion that war wasn’t a game any longer, and that they had better prevent its happening again, so they got together a kind of jury and they called it the League of Nations.

They talked for over a year; some said there must be no more fighting of any kind, and others said that the nature of man couldn’t exist without fighting, so they talked and talked until at last they came to a decision.

They decided to go back to the bow and arrow method, because it looked so nice and wasn’t as dangerous as the other methods, only bows, arrows and armour, were to be used, and directly anybody was wounded he would count as dead, and directly a quarter of the fighters on one side were dead, the other side would have won, and in case of any contravention of the rules, the whole world would punish the offender very severely, and since no country could ever be stronger than all the rest put together, the idea seemed practical and sound.

Well the next fight after the real war was between France and America, it was brought about by a difference of opinion as to whether Paris or New York should lead the fashions in ladies’ hats. It was, of course, a difficult problem, and the League of Nations discussed it for three months, at the end of this time there was a terrible hat strike, and women had to go about bare headed and many of them caught colds and died.

At last the League decided that France and America must figure it out.

The battle was arranged in Hyde Park, London, 100 men from Paris and 100 men from New York were chosen, the battlefield was railed around and people had to pay £20 to watch. The proceeds went to the society for stray cats.

Just before the battle began an Englishman invented an impregnable armour, so he sold the secret for a million pounds to the Paris men, and then got another million from the New York men for telling them, too.

So the first day’s fighting killed no one, and broke a lot of arrows, also it rained hard and the people who had paid £20 to come and watch were very sick about it.

On the second day someone invented an arrow which could pierce the armour, and both sides got hold of the secret, but everyone got to know of it before the battle, so they all wore double armour and again no one got killed, and still it rained, and the fighters sank up to their ankles in mud, because their armour was so heavy, and at the end of the day their friends had to pull them out with ropes.

Now this sort of thing went on for six days; each day better arrows were invented and thicker armour was worn to shield off the arrows, and as a result no one was killed and hundreds of arrows were broken, and still it rained very hard, and all the people who watched got wet and angry, and many died of chills.

And each day, the fighters sank deeper in the mud, because the ground got softer and their armour got heavier.

At last, on the seventh day, which was a Sunday, the situation seemed impossible, because the armed men knew that they couldn’t even get within range of each other; directly they stepped into Hyde Park they would get stuck, and since the rule was that each side should start at opposite ends of the park, it seemed hopeless.

However, a clever Englishman came to the rescue; he constructed two great rafts, and on these the fighters were to row out to the selected spot.

On a given signal they were to step off their rafts and fight as usual.

It cleared up a bit that day and the sun came out, so that heaps of people came to watch in boats and the stray cat’s shares went up seventy-two points.

The Lord Mayor came specially to give the signal for fighting to start.

Directly he blew the whistle the fighters stepped off the rafts, it was calculated by an American that each man weighed seven hundred pounds, anyhow they were never seen again, they sank right down through the each till they reached the centre of gravity and there they presumably remained.

So the question was never settled and everybody bought their hats in London.

Since then there have been no wars.

K.P.L.

The Newburian (magazine of St Bartholomew’s School, Newbury), April 1919 (N/D161/1/9)